Scratching the surface

I don’t think most people in the U.S. will ever really understand what Jesus meant when he said “the first shall be last and the last shall be first.” It’s just not possible at this point. I really don’t understand what it is like to live in abject poverty and observing it or living near it is just not the same thing. I don’t understand utter societal rejection and abandonment. I don’t understand what it is like to be hated or looked down upon by my community.  I don’t understand what it means to be tortured or threatened with death because of who I am and what I believe. And if I am honest, I don’t want to know. I don’t want my family to go hungry, to suffer, to be the outcast. And neither do most of you. And I really don’t believe we have the right to think of ourselves as “the last” as Jesus put it, when we are so far removed from what he meant. So what does that mean? What does it say about me? About my faith? About the deepness of my relationship with God?  How does that affect my relationship with God? I have to chew on this one for a bit.

The Terrors of Parenting, Part 1

Don’t get me wrong, I love being a Daddy and I love my daughter. But being a Daddy last night was terrifying!

On our pediatrician’s orders we took our 5-week old daughter to the ER at the Children’s Hospital. She had not eaten most of the day, had spit up what she had eaten, and was somewhat listless. So we waited until we eventually were told by the pediatrician on call at the hospital that they wanted to run some tests on her blood and urine. *GULP*

An hour or so later, two nurses came in to take some her urine and blood.

• Urine taking – uncomfortable, but everyone was okay
• Blood taking – total and complete nightmare

Because she was dehydrated, the nurses could not find a vein. It was like watching some being tortured. They would stick a needle into her little leg or arm and dig around looking for it while my poor little daughter screamed bloody murder. It was heart-wrenching and I never want to go through that again. But I know that there will be times in the future where she will be sick and she will be in pain. And I will have to be strong.

Lord, make me strong…

New Horizons

It’s time to start this blog over. Since our last conversation so much has happened:

• My Mom passed away -  RIP Helen Eileen Risdon. A true saint sans miracles.
• Had a beautiful baby girl – Welcome to this world Abigail Helene Mi-Hyun Risdon
• Graduated from Fuller. Hallelujah!
• Got a job @ Santa Monica First United Methodist. I am very excited about this, very excited.

I realized at my graduation how much I wished my Mom were still alive and in good health. *Sigh* Seeing my Dad without her made it all the more real.